PERSONAL

Unshakable 2019 indeed!

Sobrang hirap akong gumawa ng year-end review tungkol sa 2019. Bukod sa taon ng Paghilom, ang 2019, para sa akin, ay taon sa pagkilala sa sarili at sa iba (lalo pa sa tunay na mga kaibigan!). Pero sa ngalan ng year-end reviews, let’s do this!

January

Wala. Wala akong ginawa sa buong buwan ng Enero kung hindi mag-emote, magtrabaho, at mag-emote ulit. Repeat the cycle for 30 times.

Ang tanging nagpasaya lang sa akin sa buwan na ito ay pumasa ako sa Language Proficiency Exam sa Bicol! Nag-maganda rin ang lola niyo last January 25 dahil fiesta po sa pinagtatrabahuan niyang school.

Also, ang dami ko ring ginawa for the first time! Umattend ng yoga classes, naglaro sa trampoline park, nanood ng gig sa El Pueblo. Ang saya lang!

Most importantly, I taught myself to be more grateful for everything. I listed things I am grateful for every single day.

February

Bukod sa marami po tayong ginagawa sa buwan na ito, ang Pebrero ay buwan ng mga puso. Huhuhu. My heart. Nasaan ka na ba? Anyways, nagkaroon po tayo ng Talent Fest for this month para sa Creative Writing Class ko po. By that, I mean, meron pong book launch ‘yung mga students ng anthology ng class nila.

Aside from that, meron din akong ginawa for the first time!!! Nag-travel ako mag-isa. Siguro, simple lang sa iba, pero sa akin, sobrang challenging and eye-opener talaga tungkol sa mundo at sa sarili. Nakakatuwa dahil napuntahan ko ang Iloilo at Guimaras in 3 days! Blessed to visit my dream church, Miagao!

March

March is an idle month for me. Natapat rin dito ‘yung Holy Week kaya medyo nagnilay ako nito. Tsaka, nag-social media detox rin ako for one week. Alam niyo bang nag-self-publish rin kami ng best friend ko ng book na may title na Shadowed Truths?

Medyo magastos lang talagang mag-self pub pero sobrang saya na hindi matutumbasan ng kahit anong pera ‘yung feeling. We still have copies, btw! PM me. Hehe.

April

April is one of the best month of the year! This is the month when my fellow youth ministers and I joined the National Youth Day in the Philippines! After attending series of workshops, formation, and teambuilding, I honestly appreciate the perks of opening oneself to other people. Naging mas open at totoo ako sa ibang tao. Ang pinakagusto ko talagang learning ay ‘yung pagkilala sa bagong mga kaibigan. Hay, Lord. Kung alam ko lang na ganito kasaya, sana noon pa po ako sumali.

Bukod don, natapos ko rin ‘yung self-initiated kong action research. Nakagala rin po tayo sa Ilocos Sur at Norte sa tulong ng ating mga kura paroko at mahal na mga kaibigan. Aw!

May

Ang Mayo ay buwan ng pagbangon. After ng hangover sa NYD, isang malaking offer naman po na maging co-facilitator ng isang writing workshop na Write Things ang ibinigay ni Lord sa akin. Co-teacher ko dati ‘yung pinaka-facilitator. Ako ay hamak lang na simpleng guro sa mababang paaralan kaya hindi ko lubusang maisip na aalukin ako ni Sir sa ganito. Sa summer writing workshop na ito, napatunayan kong ang sayang magturo ng bagay na gustong-gusto mo. Ooops. Malapit na akong maging emosyonal.

Ang gaan sa pakiramdam na gusto rin ng mga bata ‘yung ginagawa nila e. Kaya,  bilang guro, alam mong facilitator lang talaga ako ng pagkatuto nila. 🙂

Bukod sa workshop, may iba’t iba ring parish na nag-invite sa akin na magbigay ng formation sa kanila. Dulot pa rin ‘to ng NYD kasi akala nila marami akong sinasabi sa buhay, pero sa totoo, iyakin pa rin ako pag gabi.

Lastly, ang saya-saya ng May dahil ininvite rin pala akong magturo ng Feature Writing sa mga writers sa isang paaralan sa Taguig. Lord, hindi ko alam kung saan mo ako gustong dalhin pero ‘yung mga unexpected na kaganapan talaga sa buhay minsan ‘yung nagpapasaya sakin ih. Wala akong ibang masabi kundi salamat, Lord.

June

Pangatlong taon ko nang magtuturo ng level na hindi ko lubusang maunawaan kung paano ko naisasalba araw-araw. Salamat sa lakas, Lord. Tsaka, gaano nga ba ka-stable ‘yung emosyon ko? Nagpa-rebond then after a week, nagpagupit. Okay ka lang, kim?

Ang buwan ng Hunyo ay buwan ng pagbabalik! Mwahaha! Maraming biglaang trip kaya hindi rin ako makapag-ipon. Pumunta nang biglaan sa Intramuros, at nag-book ng flight pabalik ng Iloilo at Bacolod. (Mayaman ka, kim?)

Also! One of the favs this month is our weekly Bible Sharing. 🙂

July

Isa pang buwan ng paggala, July. Nag-ikot kami ng mga NYD co-delegates turned friends sa Angono. ‘Yung Angono trip na legit. Tapos, pumunta rin kami ng Batangas para mag-swimming with Youth Ministers.

Ang buwan ng Hulyo ay buwan ng mga pakikitagpo. Parang araw-araw ata akong may 1 on 1 with a friend, o di kaya random na gala. Ginawaran na nga ako ng #KaibiganNgTaon Awards ng mga kaibigan ko. I don’t know. Siguro, sa kabila ng pagiging maingay ko, ako lang rin ‘yung friend na willing makinig nang walang halong judgments, side comments pwede. Hehe.

August

Bukod sa umuwi si Mama mula sa abroad at birthday ni Lola, ang buwan ng Agosto ay buwan ng katahumikan. Nagbigay lang ako ng talk sa isang parish sa Cainta at nag-turn down ng isang offer na magkape. Ewan. Kailangan ko rin ng alone time. Pumunta pala akong Sorsogon nitong buwan na ‘to. Hehe.

September

Ito na ata ang buwan ng pinakamahirap na semester para sa grad school. Last killer subject ‘yung pre-thesis subject namin. Ang hirap kayang maging intelektwal minsan. Pero nakaka-enjoy. May isang weekend rin pala akong nagbigay ng sharing sa isang parish sa Marikina tungkol sa Love and Commitment. Sabi ko nga sa organizer, bakit ako? Ako pa talaga? Pero, things happen the Lord want it to happen.

Fiesta month rin pala namin kaya ang busy ng buwan na ito. Tsaka, nanood rin pala ako ng play entitled Himala. Chills! Sobrang gandaaaa! (Is this a decent theater play review?)

October

Birthday month! Teachers’ Month! Month ng sembreak! Month ng mga masasayang bagay! Umattend ng retreat ng school, nag-celebrate ng birthday with special people, and I went to Palawan with my co-teacher, Clarence. I definitely couldn’t think of the best way to celebrate this month. Tumanda man tayo, naging mas matatag at matibay pa rin naman po!

November

Maraming pasabog ang 2019 bago matapos, hano? Lumabas po sa printer ang ika-11 kong book na After Breakup!!! Nakapag-travel for the first time sa labas ng bansa sa Taiwan. Nagbigay ng short sharing sa San Clemente Parish sa Angono, Rizal. Nagkaroon ng mas mahabang oras para magsulat ng conceptual framework.

Bukod sa kaba ko sa immigration papalabas ng bansa, isa sa nagpakaba sa akin para sa buwan na ito ay ang pag-present ng paper sa Literature Educators Association of the Philippines through Round Table Discussion! Lord, ‘di ko rin talaga alam kung bakit ko ito ginagawa, pero I had a great time! Nagkaroon ako ng opportunity at venue para pakinggan ng mga professional na to tungkol sa research ko about Wattpad.

December

Salamat sa SEA GAMES dahil wala kaming pasok sa school for one week! Naging maulan nga lang ng mga panahong iyon kaya wala akong choice kundi manahimik sa bahay.

Sa buwan ding ito kinasal ‘yung isa sa mga close friends ko. December rin naganap ang annual Christmas Play namin kaya sobrang thankful ako na naging maayos at matiwasay naman ang lahat.

Bale, ang 2019 ay…

Pwede kong ilista lahat ng napuntahan kong lugar, nabili kong bagay, napanood na pelikula at theater play at magbilang ng materyal na bagay na nakuha ko sa taong ito, pero higit pa ron ang natutunan ko sa 2019.

Sa unang quarter ng 2019, tinuruan ako ng Diyos to practice my faith. Noon, akala ko, ayos lang sundin lahat ng tradition at routine, pero ngayon, mas na-appreciate ko ‘yung application ng lahat ng alam ko sa pananampalataya. Grabe, ang hirap pala, pero worth it naman kapag nagawa mo. Bukod sa faith, I learned to be more hopeful. Optimistic akong tao in real life, pero kapag mas real life pala talaga, ang hirap maging hopeful, lalo pa kung sabay-sabay lahat ng challenges no? Pero, the Lord always gives what’s the best for me. His grace has filled my heart with so much love.

2019 is a year for sharing my gift of writing sa ibang tao. Sa palagay ko naman, may natuwa sa mga naisulat ko sa page? Pagpapatuloy ko lang magsulat, kahit walang like, kahit walang share. I will continue to write.

Naging kanlungan ko ang sining sa pag-iisa. Natutunan kong kumapit sa keyboard at ballpen sa panahon na malapit na akong mag-breakdown. Sobrang hindi ako iniwan ng pagsusulat, at the more na mas nasasaktan ako, the more na nagsusulat ako. (pero sana naman ‘di ba, masayang version naman ng buhay?)

Wala akong ibang gustong sabihin kundi Salamat sa Diyos sa taong 2019. Lalabas na nga pala ako sa comfort zone ko. Nakakatakot, pero I only pray for the grace that comes from the Lord.

Padayon, Kim! Gawin mong mas makabuluhan ang 2020.

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PERSONAL

My Newest Book, After Breakup

I started writing this book in 2017. It took me a year to finish it because I submitted it as one of our requirements for M.A. This book is about Reese, a woman who decided to travel after her fiancé dumped her. Sounds elitist, pero, if you are in this heartbreaking situation, you’d do anything you can to move on and hopefully to forget. Magastos nga lang talaga minsan. Pero may iba namang paraan para hindi gumastos.

Very timely, eh? It’s almost a year after my breakup. Now, I am formally ending the year with a book about it. Sobrang weird. Meron talagang point sa buhay ko na parang lahat ng sinusulat ko nangyayari? Never pa akong nagsulat ng may masayang ending. So maybe, ‘yung next book ko naman sana is happy ending para mangyari rin sa akin? Ano? Game na ba Lee Miyaki ghorl?

I am so grateful for all the support coming from my friends. As of this writing, I have sold more than 40 books. Grabe. It’s unexpected. Siguro naawa sila sa akin. Haha.

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So if you came to read this blog, sana basahin niyo rin ‘yung kwentong ito. It’s not on Wattpad or any other site. It’s exclusive on Lifebooks. Hehe. 🙂 It is available in all NBS nationwide. 100 lang siya. Abot kaya! 🙂

PERSONAL

Fear is normal.

Fear is Normal.

While talking to lola about a decision that I am about to take (or maybe not), I realize that fear is normal. Existing in this challenging world could trigger fear. Comprehensive examinations, research papers, and oral presentations are also fearful.  Going out of your comfort zone could be fearful. Everything could be fearful! Shookt. Even, love? Haha.

If there’s an important thing to remember about these things, it’s this: Fear is based on your perspective.

Fear, when taken positively, becomes a challenge.

Fear, when taken negatively, becomes a threat.

Fear, when consumed, stops you from learning.

Fear, once ruled your life, prevents you from growing.

Fear could take away important learning that you could ever have. Not going out because it might rain may stop you from being productive. Not chasing your dream job could also let you get stuck to a mediocre life. Not following your passion may take away a part of your life. There’s a lot to lose when you let fear rule over your life.

Still, fear is a sign of being mindful about the possibilities that could happen. It could be a warning or a soft reminder before making decisions. It could always give you more options to choose from. Fear can only mean that you are a normal human being—that you get scared about the things that might happen.

Okay lang matakot, pero sana lumaban ka pa rin.

Right now, I am at the point in my life when I am also fearful of the things that could happen when I say yes to a big project. It’s my first time. But, I also fear what if I miss this project because of this fear? Wahhh. I do not know.

What I do now is to pray for it. I may have plans but the Lord has better plans for me. I know that God will never give me challenges that I couldn’t accomplish. I always pray to God to increase my faith and to increase my super power to do things for him.

Nakakatakot, pero sana kayanin kapag and’yan na.

Isipin mo ‘yung mga bagay na meron ka na sana ngayon kung hindi ka natakot.

So help me God.

PERSONAL

Research and its Life Lessons

I am itching to write a quick blog post about what happened tonight.

It’s Thursday, and I just came home from my MA class (that ended too early than the usual).

We talked about our final paper. But, more than that, I admired how our professor took our discussion to the next level. He didn’t just tell us the technicalities of writing a research paper. Instead, he inspired us to work hard.

  • Our professor reminded us to be more resilient to pain. Pain is part of learning. If we do not learn, we won’t grow. Who wants getting stuck in the same place all over again?
  • Also, he reminded us that being worried about writing our thesis is natural. We are used to staying in our comfort zone. But, if we try to exceed what we usually do, then we are moving up to the next level. And that matters.
  • Also, I was moved when he reminded us to be more intentional in our research. He told us to be of great purpose in writing our research. We should be driven for learning, and not just the degree.
  • He reminded us that we should not rush things. It takes time to create great outputs. Hence, our degree will follow once we’ve decided to write our best product ever.

I don’t know but tonight is the highlight of my academic year in UP. I really admire how passionate and dedicated our professors are. They are encouraging (so far).

May we finally know our real intentions in life.

Kim

PERSONAL

A Series of Workshops, Sharing, and Events

August and September are months filled with talks, events, and sharing. Since my page “Lee Miyaki” existed, I’ve been receiving some invitation from my fellow youth ministers (from other parishes). They’re usually inviting me to give a talk to their parish youth ministers. I am thankful.

This role is a huge responsibility. Words are powerful. Whatever I say, may/might affect their life. I am always nervous an hour before my talk. I really don’t know, but I guess being scared is normal, right? It’s a mere reminder that I can always work for my betterment? Ganern?

My first talk was last August 25, in Immaculate Conception in Vista Verde Executive Village, Cainta, Rizal. I spoke about Servanthood to their new youth ministry members.

It was a huge crowd. They were so energetic and vibrant. They’re so alive. One of them even cried upon hearing my sharing. His friends told me, he could really relate.

My second talk was last September 7, in St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows in Marikina City. The talk was about Love and Commitment. I really questioned myself if I am worthy enough to share about ‘commitment’ and ‘love’ when I myself almost gave up on love.

My last sharing/facilitating/assisting so far, was last September 14, for Write Things which happened at Fully Booked, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig City. Basically, I assisted some kids in writing poems, gave feedbacks, and comments on their work.

Aside from that, our Parish Youth Ministry held three huge events: Parish Youth Ministry Got Talent, Live Pure Series Presents: Chastity, & Youth Night. It’s never easy preparing everything for these events. But, God made everything possible.

I am grateful for all these things. We wouldn’t do it without God’s providence. Thank God for the never-ending opportunities. I know, I am not worthy. I am a sinner, isang makasalanan at judgmental na tao. Buti na lang mapagmahal ang Diyos. Never siyang sumuko. 🙂

Thank God for a meaningful life. I hope you, whoever is reading this, may find your purpose, too.

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