LIFE LESSONS

Third Space

Have you heard of the term third space?

When you go out of your house, you bring your own baggage. Then, as you proceed with your journey, you carry that baggage with you. Once you meet and interact people, you’d know they too have their own baggage.

Now, when you entertain someone, you are slowly introducing your baggage to him/her. Later on, you’ll show him/her what is inside your baggage.You’ll show him/her your childhood memory. You’ll explain your happiest moment out of that baggage. You will also show him/her the different compartments that your baggage has. You will tell him/her why those compartments exist. You will gladly tell him/her that those spaces are made for permanent people in your life.

As you speak with that person, he/she will also show you the kind of baggage that he has. He/She will open up that baggage for you. Maybe, his/her baggage has different content from yours. You may find it unique or weird. That depends to your upbringing or opinion? Not sure. Still, as that person opens up his/her baggage with/for you, you slowly realize that person must have travelled miles to see you and show you what he has. Both of you decide to journey together. You carry your own baggages. You share your unique experiences.

Later on, you’ll realize that you need a space where you can place the baggage that you both have. Now, you ended up looking for a shared space where you can both put your baggages together. That’s the third space. You see. Your baggage maybe smaller than his. Maybe, his baggage requires more from your third space. That’s when you compromise.

Your third space is where you and your special someone (or maybe a group of people) meet in between. Third space is where understanding (supposedly) and commonality should meet.

Again, you have different baggages, exposure to society, upbringing, views, and perception about life. Those differences meet at your third space.

Question. How is your third space? Not only with a certain person, but with your friends, family, and colleagues?

How is your third space?

Do you consider your third space peaceful?

Do you consider your third space genuine?

Do you consider your third space lacking?

You and the people around you has their own made-up third spaces. Every single day is an opportunity to make that third space worth sharing. Now, are you willing to share your third space?

PS. Post is inspired by Angela Esmeralda’s Podcast: Pa-relevant. It is on Spotify. Super relevant. Please search. Good day ahead, folks!

LIFE LESSONS

On not having a jowa at 20sh something

Babala. Medyo personal ang post.

9:00PM, payapa akong naglalaro ng online games dahil may quests akong ‘di matapos-tapos. Nasa kalagitnaan rin ako ng scrolling sa Instagram dahil naghahanap ako ng halaman para sa kwarto. Habang ginagawa ko lahat ng iyon sa isang malamig na gabi (salamat sa aircon at Meralco na naibalik ang kuryente at 6:00PM), bigla akong kinausap ni Lola.

“Ilang taon ka na. Wala ka pa ring boyfriend. Kaya mo bang mabuhay nang mag-isa? Mahirap mabuhay mag-isa.”

Syempre, super concerned lang talaga si lola kaya niya nasabi ‘yon. Two years na akong super independent sa buhay (in some ways), at siguro, nararamdaman niyang kailangan ko na nga ata talaga ng makakasama sa buhay.

Kaya nga, dahil sa conversation na ‘yon, naisip ko lang ‘to:

  1. I do not need to rush. Kalma lang. Not having a jowa at this age is not a need. In this time of pandemic, mas marami pang pwedeng i-prioritize. Prioritize genuine friendships, relationship with family, and self-development.
  2. Not having a jowa does not make me a less person. Ewan ko ba. Uso pa rin ata ‘yung thinking na kahit anong ganap mo sa buhay, kapag wala kang jowa, laging kulang. Hahehehe.
  3. I am at peace at this age. I am blessed and contented. I never felt alone because I have so many meaningful relationships with my family and friends. While I am at this age, I am busy dreaming and fulfilling those dreams one step at a time.

‘Yung edad ko atang ito ‘yung edad na kung saan halos lahat ng ka-batch ko may achievements sa buhay. May kanya-kanya silang milestones. Nakakailang anak na. Nakakailang work na. Nakakailang bansa na napuntahan. Super happy ako for them, genuinely.

Kung gaano ako kasaya para sa kanila, ganoon rin naman ako kasaya sa kung nasaan ako ngayon.

Lahat ng tao, may kanya-kanyang oras sa buhay. Kalma lang. 🙂

LIFE LESSONS

It’s okay not to be productive, friends.

This pandemic has brought us a lot of problems. Some are physically suffering. Some are emotionally unwell. Some people are definitely disturbed and so anxious for not knowing what the future holds.

My Personal Experience (And I am honest about this)

Right now, I am privileged enough to be writing this blog. Through this, I can cope with all the emotional ups and downs that I am going through. Wow. The term.

To be honest, for the first few weeks of the quarantine, I was able to establish a routine and to follow it religiously. I tweaked some of my activities whenever it is needed. I also added and changed my room decoration to have a new working ambience.

Again, for the first months, I was able to be “productive” because I felt that I had to be productive since I have the luxury of time. But, let’s be honest, it’s not always a good day.

There were days that I feel down about what is happening. I know that I couldn’t control these things. I always felt laying down on my bed, looking at my ceiling, and questioning what would happen next. But most of all, I couldn’t help but to feel so down because of not being able to do things.

Why is it okay not to be productive?

After watching bestdressed vlog, here I am, typing this blog to write about not being able to do things recently. I will try to convince you, friends, that sometimes, it is okay not to be productive.

  • It’s okay not to be productive because (as what they say), we do not work from home, we try to work from home. We are facing this pandemic and I believe it is really challenging to work and be productive if we are in this certain phase of life.
  • It’s okay not to be productive because you need to focus on your health. Friend, you need to maintain a good mental health as well. If you would force yourself to work like you used to, then you are just being hard on yourself. (and that wouldn’t help you either)
  • It’s okay not to be productive because (maybe) you have done enough for the week. Your mind and body need to relax. You need to recharge. Yes, you need to keep going and to try to cope with the new normal, but then, you also have to take care of yourself.

Keep your chill. If you can’t do everything now, take a break.

Sip your favorite coffee. Have a good breakfast. Laugh at funny Tiktok videos. Share a meme with you friends. Watch movies without feeling guilty about the time spent on this.

Life calls for balance. As what Ashley (bestdressed) said, “There is not always a later.” Right now, consider doing the things that you’ve forgotten to do. Read a book. Have a good conversation with your loved ones. Keep in touch with good old friends.

Chill ka muna tapos, laban ulit.

LIFE LESSONS

Financial Thoughts Amidst COVID19 Pandemic

Because of this COVID19 pandemic, I have learned a lot of lessons about my finances. As a private school teacher, I am blessed enough to be compensated despite this pandemic. However, for the next few months, I am still unsure if I would have a stable job or income like this.

I have listed some of my important lessons on finance amidst this COVID 19 pandemic.

I hope this could help you reflect on your own finances as well. I am not an expert on this. I just do some things that would make me look like a responsible adult.

Buy what is essential.

Before this pandemic, I cannot live without milk tea, frappe, overpriced coffee, and some snacks. I always passed by the nearest convenience store near our school. But now, I realised that I really do not need these refreshments. I could be satisfied with the usual coffee that we have at home. Also, snacks and refreshments could just be as simple as a slice of bread, pancit canton, or a piece of banana.

Having an Emergency Fund is a big help.

I do not mean that I have plenty of money, but I could say that I am blessed enough with some privileges that made me save money. Having an emergency fund is really helpful in times like this. I could simply turn to it just in case worst scenarios happen.

Stocks, VUL, and Insurance matter.

Yes, they matter. However, I am not sure whether you are capable of getting one in times like this. We do not know until when this crisis would be. But, if you have spare money to avail these, then you may do so. This is a perfect time to invest on these specially the prices are low. You have to reassess your finances whether you can have these or not.

Invest on a good home.

I do not say house. But, I hope you can find a good home where you feel loved and accepted. Material things or furniture does not matter; what matters is you are comfortable at home. With this, it is really important to invest feelings on the right person. Hahaha.

Look for Sidelines

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’d know that I have tried several online jobs. I worked as a teacher in 51talk for a month, and as a freelance writer on Upwork for five years. Having another source of income is a great help. You can also try setting up an online store. These days, I see a lot of products on Facebook. I believe social media would help you reach your target audience.

Final Thoughts

I live in a country that is full of uncertainties. I worry because my job depends on how the government would handle this crisis. As of this writing, I can only hope for the best. Right now, the most practical thing that I could do is to spend less, work more, and try not to eat a lot. I have to settle with the resources that I have at home. Lastly, I should always pray and be grateful to God for showering me and my family with His grace.

How are you, friends/readers? I hope you are all doing well.

LIFE LESSONS

Paano mo malalaman kung nakapagpatawad ka na?

Naniniwala ka rin ba na ang pag-ibig ay may kalakip rin na sakit? Ako, oo.

Nang matapos ang six year relationship, akala ko talaga pain at sadness na lang talaga ang kaya kong maramdaman. Nasa point ako ng December 2018 na habang nagsasaya ang ibang tao, ako nakatulala lang sa ceiling ng kwarto ko tuwing umaga.

Grabe ‘yung sakit na naramdaman ko after breakup. Ilang beses ko ring tinanong sa sarili ko kung ganoon ba talaga ako ka-hopeless, useless, at worthless. Sobrang sakit. Halos isumpa ko na si pusit dahil sa lahat ng sakit na dulot niya. Huhu. Inisip ko nga sana bumagsak ‘yung eroplanong sinasakyan niya. Haha. Bad.

Pero, habang tumatakbo ang mga araw-araw, alam ko sa sarili ko na kailangan ko na ring magpatawad. Forgiveness. Pagpapatawad. Sabi nga ni Jesus, forgive seven times seven times seven.

Paano mo malalaman kung nakapagpatawad ka na?

1. Kapag inisip mo ang taong ‘yon, hindi ka na makakaramdam ng galit. 

Dati, kapag naririnig mo ‘yung pangalan niya, halos isumpa mo na. Dati, naisip ko na lang na isama ‘yung pangalan niya sa listahan ng mass for the souls sa simbahan. Hindi ko alam. Kung saan-saan na lang ako dinadala ng galit ko noon. Pero, alam mong nakapagpatawad ka na kapag sa tuwing iniisip mo pa siya, hindi ka na galit.

2. Kapag nakita mo ang taong ‘yon, alam mong normal na lang na tao siya. Wala ng ibang feelings. Stoic ka na lang. 

Nangyari ‘to sa akin. Ilang buwan after breakup. Nakita ko si pusit. There comes thousands of heartbeat again, friends! Galit na galit pa pala ako noon. Birthmonth ko pa naman. Ngayon, ‘di ko na siya nakita ulit. Buti na lang. Pero I guess, kahit makita ko pa siya, stoic na lang ako. Wala lang. 🙂

3. Kapag pinag-usapan ang taong ‘yon, pinagtatawanan mo na lang lahat ng nangyari noon. 

Kapag mapag-usapan siya sa newsfeed, matatawa ka na lang sa mga naisip mong revenge thoughts dati. Alam mong nakapagpatawad ka na kung hinayaan mo na lang ‘yung mga kaibigan mong i-bash siya. Makaka-bash ka, pero bash with class. Wala na lang talaga sa’yo. Matatawa ka na lang.

4. Kapag nakakatulog ka na sa gabi na hindi mo na iniisip lahat ng ginawa niyang masakit sa iyo. 

Kapag nakakatulog ka na sa gabi na hindi mo na naiisip ‘yung lahat ng ginawa niyang masakit sa iyo. Kasinungalingan, cheating, at iba pa. Nakapagpatawad ka na kung hindi ka na nagdu-dwell doon.

5. Kapag nasabi o naipaalam mo na sa kanya na pinapatawad mo na siya. 

Ito ‘yung pinakamahirap sa lahat. Malalaman mo lang na nakapagpatawad ka na kung masasabi o maipapaalam mo ito sa kanya. Huy, grabe. Akala ko hindi ko ito magagawa. After ilang months, kaya naman palang gawin. With sincerity. Kailangan lang talaga ng grace ng Holy Spirit. Kailangan lang ng sincerity. Kakayanin kung gugustuhin.

There you have it, mga kaibigan. Alam mong nakapagpatawad ka na kung nagawa mo na ito. Kung hindi pa, ayos lang. Give yourself a time. Baka kailangan mo ring patawarin muna ‘yung sarili mo, bago mo totally patawarin ang iba.

Patawarin mo muna ang sarili mo dahil sa mga bagay na hindi mo nagawa, mga desisyong hindi naging matagumpay, at pagiging marupok, sometimes.

Kapag nagpatawad ka, mas mapapalaya mo na ang iyong sarili.

Don’t let your pain overcome you. Forgive, let God, and let go.

Then, ‘wag na papaloko ulit. 🙂