LIFE LESSONS

Your failure is an opportunity to grow.

This blog post is dedicated to those people who are questioning their existence especially in this time of COVID 19. Dear friends, I know it is not so easy to plan any grand gestures/goals because we are quarantined. Kaya sa blog na ito, ibabahagi ko sa inyo ang ilang quarantine thoughts na napag-usapan namin ng best friend ko.

The Story Behind This Post

Pang-ilang araw na nga ba ng quarantine? ‘Di ko na mabilang. Halos lahat ng araw kasi na lumilipas, pareho na lang. Nakakalungkot na ring isipin na ang dami nang COVID19 cases sa Pilipinas at sa buong mundo. Marami rin namang good news, sa kabilang banda. Kaya lang, pagkatapos mapansin lahat ng nasa labas na balita, hindi talaga natin maiiwasan na tumingin at bumalik sa panloob na sitwasyon ng sarili.

Bago matapos ang araw, naranasan mo na bang tanungin ang sarili mo kung productive ka? Nakagawa ka ba ng maraming bagay? Natuto ka ba ng bagong skill? May nabasa ka bang libro? May naluto ka ba? Nakapagsimula ka na ba sa dream project mo? Lagpas isang buwan na kasi. Anong natapos mo? Ang haggard isipin ng konsepto ng productivity ngayong may crisis. Lalo, mas mahirap isipin ang konsepto ng success sa mga ganitong panahon.

Paano ba natin ilu-look forward ang success sa ganitong panahon? Para bigyan kayo ng ideya, in-interview ko ‘yung classmate ko nung high school na si Paul De Vera. Sa ngayon, ‘di niyo pa siya kilala, so I suggest, check his Facebook page muna.

On Success

Sumali ‘tong friend ko sa dalawang singing contest sa TV. Singer siya at hilig niya talagang sumali sa contest. Kaya lang, hindi talaga sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay happy moments. For him it is okay not to win. Proud naman siyang sabihin na bagamat hindi siya nanalo, hindi siya nakaramdam ng sama ng loob. Alam niyo kung bakit? He is surrounded by a good group of people. He is with a good company.

Ibig sabihin, kailangan natin ng tama at mabuting kaibigan in order to succeed.

Be surrounded by the right and kind people.

Some people would appreciate you even at your darkest moments and even at your weakest point. You won’t feel bad if you are with those people.

Habang nagmamaneho siya ng sasakyan, tinanong ko ulit siya kung paano ba siya nag-cope sa failures at downfalls. Ang hirap kaya ng dalawang beses natalo on national TV. Tapos, heto sinabi ni bes.

Your failure is an opportunity to grow.

If we only try to embrace opportunities as we fall, then we will grow. To those who are reading this, tandaan niyo sana ‘tong sentence na ito. Alam kong alam niyo na ‘to, pero pinapaalala ko lang ulit.

On taking risks 

People nowadays are fond of taking risks. (Ako rin! Dati!)

My good friend told me na dapat daw piliin ang mga bagay na may risks. Kung may iti-take kang risk, make sure na meron ka pa ring plano once na bumagsak. Plan B, ikanga. Kapag hindi ka nagtagumpay, anong sunod na plano?

Sa pag-take ng risks, minsan, mismong pamilya natin ‘yung hindi sasang-ayon. Alam mo ‘yon? Alam natin na gusto lang ng mga mahal natin sa buhay na nasa comfortable state tayo. Kaya lang, is there growth in your comfort zone? 

My friend is a freelance host, and singer. I strongly admire people who work freelance. Hindi kayang madaling i-maintain ang ganoong estado ng buhay. Sabi niya lang naman na ang tanging pinagsisihan niya about freelancing is not trying it earlier.

Sana pala ay noon niya pa nasimulan. Kung maaga daw siya nag-take ng risk to freelance, mas marami siyang failures at mas marami siyang matututunan. Lahat ng ito ay later on magagamit niya talaga as an opportunity to grow.

I agree that my failure is an opportunity to grow if I would take it as a challenge. Dapat ko rin i-handle nang maayos ang lungkot at the same time. Marami akong trust issues since birth. Ako ata ang trust issues na naging tao. Kaya sobrang kailangan kong pag-aralan mag-cope sa failures, sa lungkot, at sa frustrations.

How are you coping, friends? I hope you are all doing fine. 

 

LIFE LESSONS

Kumusta ka na Trap

Kumusta ka na? Chronicles

When you’re hurt, chances are, your friends will instantly pop unto your screen and ask you, “Kamusta ka na?”

You might feel privileged, knowing that, at least, some people will cheer you when you are totally messed up.

However, before you answer that question, ask yourself first if the person who asks that is a REAL friend. Why? Because not all people who ask you that question really cares. (Aww. It’s a disappointing reality that we must deal with.)

Not all people care. Some ask for the sake of asking that question. Some ask because they have nothing to do. Some ask because they want to see you suffer. This could be the most pessimist post I have written so forgive me. (Life for me, lately, isn’t sweet. Haha.)

I just want to remind everyone that not all people really care, and THAT’S OKAY. You do not need the complete validation coming from mere acquaintances.

Sometimes, answering “Okay lang,” to that question is enough. This phrase contains magic that will eventually dissolve follow-up questions.

 

Stick to your Real Friends. 🙂

Here’s what you can do: STICK TO THE REAL ONES. Real friends are not those who sacrifice everything for you. No one can do that (only Christ, or your family).

Real friends are those people who will make you feel everything’s gonna be fine. They can sing chants that magically calm you. They can make you feel hopeful and cheerful no matter what the situation is.

Real friends may be far from you, but distance does not matter for them. Time > Distance is their mantra. They will find or make time for you.

Real friends do not tolerate your wrongdoings. They are frank with their opinion. They remind what’s best for you. They certainly tell you what they think is more beneficial and morally right.

Lastly, REAL FRIENDS pray for you and lead you closer to God. These people bless you with the assurance coming from God. They may not be perfect but they do accept the fact that God has already saved and healed them. They will never ever judge you instead they do understand your situation and your feelings.

 

Finale

This post is just a mere realization about my life lately. I don’t know why I only have to realize it just now. Maybe, I was so amiable and gregarious to open myself up to the people whom I think I can trust. Huhuhu. Loyal and faithful people are so rare these days. If you have found yours, keep it. It’s totally a rare find.

 

LIFE LESSONS

My 7-Day Social Media Detox

My very first e-mail

I was in Grade 6 when my cousin asked me what e-mail address would I like to have. I asked her, “What is that for?” She said, “Basta, maganda ‘yun.” After some thinking time, I replied, “I want my e-mail to be angel_kim25@yahoo.com.”

Sounds funny, right? I welcomed my first e-mail when I was 12. I created my Friendster using the same e-mail address when I was 13. Finally, I signed up for Facebook when I was 15. I also signed up for Instagram, Twitter, WordPress, and Tumblr.

I am actively participating in Social Media platforms for almost a decade. Not until time has come that I got so overwhelmed with all the information I read on my newsfeed.

My Social Media Presence

My Facebook was supposedly created for communicating with my family and close friends. However, there was this season of mine when I just accepted all friend invitations I had on my home. After 10 years, whenever reading my newsfeed, I realized that I never really knew those people. Sometimes, I even judge myself why did I even confirm those request.

After a decade, I came to this point in life when I no longer became productive because of my severe social media use. Whenever there’s no work, I could stay up on Facebook 24/7, not because of family and relatives, but because of mindlessly scrolling my newsfeed, checking my Messenger, and posting status which never really mattered.

I almost gave every single information about myself on Facebook. There was no proper education on how to handle these matters. Use of social media was just emerging at that time.

How I Avoided Social Media?

Only this 2019, when I realized this addiction of mine. So, last March 6, I decided to discipline myself in using social media. Here’s how I slowly stopped using my social media.

  1. I log-out from all my social media accounts (except for work-related apps).
  2. I uninstalled Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
  3. I uninstalled shopping apps, too.
  4. I removed all the notifications from all other apps.
  5. I set screen time (for iPhone users) and maximized the use of Moment App.
  6. I hide my cellphone away from me before I sleep.
  7. When working, I leave my phone in my bag.

It’s a long process of convincing your mind. But, for me, the best way to start is to UNINSTALL the apps that distract you from being productive. If this is not possible, TURN OFF the notifications.

At first, I also hesitated in doing this because of this question, “What if somebody sends me a VERY important message on those social media accounts?” Well, a part of me said that if that MESSAGE is really IMPORTANT, then, they could have e-mailed you or reached you through your mobile or work number.

My Realizations After Deactivating/ Not Using Facebook

A week without Facebook is a week without stress. I did not worry too much about the stress of certain news. I did not think too much because of the useless post I see on my feed. I felt so free for the entire week.

Also, a week without Facebook is a productive week. I was able to write more essays and poems. I was able to read more significant blog posts, and books. Also, I was able to accomplish more work compared to my attitude before.

A week without Facebook allowed me to realize who my friends really were. My real friends stay connected through mobile number and e-mail. Real friend really stayed through my DOWNS not only in m UPS.

A week without Facebook made me more grounded to the season that I am currently in. I stayed focus on work. I was able to listen to my mind’s deepest longings and desires. It allowed me to reflect more, especially this Lenten Season.

Final Notes

Unplugging from Social Media accounts is freeing yourself from useless anxieties that the world offer. Sometimes, our newsfeed overwhelms us with so much information. It might even make us compare to our friends, batchmates, and relatives.

Unplug yourself from the things that distract you. Unplug yourself from worries. Keep yourself grounded in reality and not in your fantasy. I guess, social media have been used to create a version of ourselves that we want other people to know. You have to remember that you are YOU even before you join social media craze. Be reminded that you are beautiful in your own way.

Hence, please, log out. Take a break from too much noise. Some unknowns are revealed in silence.