LIFE LESSONS

On not having a jowa at 20sh something

Babala. Medyo personal ang post.

9:00PM, payapa akong naglalaro ng online games dahil may quests akong ‘di matapos-tapos. Nasa kalagitnaan rin ako ng scrolling sa Instagram dahil naghahanap ako ng halaman para sa kwarto. Habang ginagawa ko lahat ng iyon sa isang malamig na gabi (salamat sa aircon at Meralco na naibalik ang kuryente at 6:00PM), bigla akong kinausap ni Lola.

“Ilang taon ka na. Wala ka pa ring boyfriend. Kaya mo bang mabuhay nang mag-isa? Mahirap mabuhay mag-isa.”

Syempre, super concerned lang talaga si lola kaya niya nasabi ‘yon. Two years na akong super independent sa buhay (in some ways), at siguro, nararamdaman niyang kailangan ko na nga ata talaga ng makakasama sa buhay.

Kaya nga, dahil sa conversation na ‘yon, naisip ko lang ‘to:

  1. I do not need to rush. Kalma lang. Not having a jowa at this age is not a need. In this time of pandemic, mas marami pang pwedeng i-prioritize. Prioritize genuine friendships, relationship with family, and self-development.
  2. Not having a jowa does not make me a less person. Ewan ko ba. Uso pa rin ata ‘yung thinking na kahit anong ganap mo sa buhay, kapag wala kang jowa, laging kulang. Hahehehe.
  3. I am at peace at this age. I am blessed and contented. I never felt alone because I have so many meaningful relationships with my family and friends. While I am at this age, I am busy dreaming and fulfilling those dreams one step at a time.

‘Yung edad ko atang ito ‘yung edad na kung saan halos lahat ng ka-batch ko may achievements sa buhay. May kanya-kanya silang milestones. Nakakailang anak na. Nakakailang work na. Nakakailang bansa na napuntahan. Super happy ako for them, genuinely.

Kung gaano ako kasaya para sa kanila, ganoon rin naman ako kasaya sa kung nasaan ako ngayon.

Lahat ng tao, may kanya-kanyang oras sa buhay. Kalma lang. 🙂

LIFE LESSONS

My 7-Day Social Media Detox

My very first e-mail

I was in Grade 6 when my cousin asked me what e-mail address would I like to have. I asked her, “What is that for?” She said, “Basta, maganda ‘yun.” After some thinking time, I replied, “I want my e-mail to be angel_kim25@yahoo.com.”

Sounds funny, right? I welcomed my first e-mail when I was 12. I created my Friendster using the same e-mail address when I was 13. Finally, I signed up for Facebook when I was 15. I also signed up for Instagram, Twitter, WordPress, and Tumblr.

I am actively participating in Social Media platforms for almost a decade. Not until time has come that I got so overwhelmed with all the information I read on my newsfeed.

My Social Media Presence

My Facebook was supposedly created for communicating with my family and close friends. However, there was this season of mine when I just accepted all friend invitations I had on my home. After 10 years, whenever reading my newsfeed, I realized that I never really knew those people. Sometimes, I even judge myself why did I even confirm those request.

After a decade, I came to this point in life when I no longer became productive because of my severe social media use. Whenever there’s no work, I could stay up on Facebook 24/7, not because of family and relatives, but because of mindlessly scrolling my newsfeed, checking my Messenger, and posting status which never really mattered.

I almost gave every single information about myself on Facebook. There was no proper education on how to handle these matters. Use of social media was just emerging at that time.

How I Avoided Social Media?

Only this 2019, when I realized this addiction of mine. So, last March 6, I decided to discipline myself in using social media. Here’s how I slowly stopped using my social media.

  1. I log-out from all my social media accounts (except for work-related apps).
  2. I uninstalled Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
  3. I uninstalled shopping apps, too.
  4. I removed all the notifications from all other apps.
  5. I set screen time (for iPhone users) and maximized the use of Moment App.
  6. I hide my cellphone away from me before I sleep.
  7. When working, I leave my phone in my bag.

It’s a long process of convincing your mind. But, for me, the best way to start is to UNINSTALL the apps that distract you from being productive. If this is not possible, TURN OFF the notifications.

At first, I also hesitated in doing this because of this question, “What if somebody sends me a VERY important message on those social media accounts?” Well, a part of me said that if that MESSAGE is really IMPORTANT, then, they could have e-mailed you or reached you through your mobile or work number.

My Realizations After Deactivating/ Not Using Facebook

A week without Facebook is a week without stress. I did not worry too much about the stress of certain news. I did not think too much because of the useless post I see on my feed. I felt so free for the entire week.

Also, a week without Facebook is a productive week. I was able to write more essays and poems. I was able to read more significant blog posts, and books. Also, I was able to accomplish more work compared to my attitude before.

A week without Facebook allowed me to realize who my friends really were. My real friends stay connected through mobile number and e-mail. Real friend really stayed through my DOWNS not only in m UPS.

A week without Facebook made me more grounded to the season that I am currently in. I stayed focus on work. I was able to listen to my mind’s deepest longings and desires. It allowed me to reflect more, especially this Lenten Season.

Final Notes

Unplugging from Social Media accounts is freeing yourself from useless anxieties that the world offer. Sometimes, our newsfeed overwhelms us with so much information. It might even make us compare to our friends, batchmates, and relatives.

Unplug yourself from the things that distract you. Unplug yourself from worries. Keep yourself grounded in reality and not in your fantasy. I guess, social media have been used to create a version of ourselves that we want other people to know. You have to remember that you are YOU even before you join social media craze. Be reminded that you are beautiful in your own way.

Hence, please, log out. Take a break from too much noise. Some unknowns are revealed in silence.